Monday, May 6, 2013

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The last couple weeks have been the pits.  Maybe even slightly pittier than the pits.  Not good.  I don't want to bore you with (or relive) ALL the details, but I probably will anyway.  Buckle your seat belts friends, because this is going to be a long one.  The breakdown goes a little something like this:

Tuesday, April 23rd
2pm-ish:  A very difficult meeting with one of my volunteers in her mid-80s results in her revealing that she would pretty much see no reason to live without this program.  And she is not the first to express this sentiment.  Yes this means she loves the program but it also means it's the only bright spot in an otherwise pretty unhappy life and I can't get her face out of my head, because I know that there are millions of older adults just like her.  Oy.

Friday, April 26th
12pm-ish:  Find out that someone very special, near and dear to me, my Tacoma mom-away-from-home in fact, had come down with bacterial meningitis.  Bad.  Bad bad bad.  She was miserable and hurting and it was terrible [Update: she is back at home and on the mend, folks! PTL (praise the lord... keep up)].

11pm-ish:  My car's clutch goes out on the freeway on the way to Bellingham for a long-awaited weekend of fun.  Good God, Dolly! Don't fail me now!  Dolly is my car.  Keep up.  Of course this happened at 11pm and of course the nearest exit was Seneca Street, landing me in the middle of downtown Seattle.  With a slipping clutch.  This terrain ain't flat, folks!  Made a few difficult circles around the block until I found a safe spot to pull over and waited for AAA to pick me up.  Towed back to Tacoma.

Tuesday, April 30th
9am-ish:  Find out my clutch is going to cost around $1,100.  Make an appointment to bring it in the following Friday because what choice do I have?
11am-ish:  Drop my iPhone in a parking lot.  Shatters.  Want to know how many times I've dropped my phone in its two years of existence?  I don't even know.  That's how many times.  Has it ever even been so much as scratched?  Nope.  But this time, it SHATTERED.  And it was a good shatter, let me tell ya.  Cool.  Things were getting comical at that point, so I actually laughed out loud.  I mean what else was there to do?

Wednesday, May 1st
8am-ish:  Fail to properly fasten the lid on my super cool coffee sipper cup and therefore spill coffee alllllllllllll down the front of me, mostly concentrated on my crotch!  Awesome.  Very minor in the grand scheme of things, but just adds to the comedy of it all so I find it worth sharing.
4pm-ish:  Fork over $100 for a new iPhone.  Siri is a funny sassy gal, but it doesn't sweeten the deal enough to make the transaction anywhere near fun or exciting.

Thursday, May 2nd
8pm-ish:  Much-anticipated weekend getaway plans fall through, leaving me carless in Seattle (ok Tacoma - close enough) while mine is getting fixed.  This is where I really start thinking, "Ok Ashton, you can come out now.  I know I'm being Punk'd."  But Ashton never came.  Because it was real life.  But hey, a girl can dream.

Friday, May 3rd
5pm-ish:  Decide to use my unintentionally free night to make a delicious dinner, kickback, relax, and watch some Say Yes to the Dress.  Yep.  That's what I did on Friday night.  And fell asleep on the couch at about 8:30pm, only to wake up at 10ish with a killer sore throat and the achey, fluey, yucks.  YA KIDDIN ME??  So I hit the Emergen-C hard and went to bed.

Saturday, May 4th
ALL DAY LONG:  My achey-fluey-yucks went from bad to worse.  And worse.  And worse.  And worse.  By about 8pm I was absolutely miserable, aching everywhere there is to ache, and shivering cold even though my apartment is an INFERNO any time the weather reaches 70 degrees.  Took my temperature and my eyes bugged out of my head as the numbers went flying through the 98s and 99s (it could also be because I still do that thing we all used to do as kids where you try to cross your eyes and focus on the numbers even though you really might as well wait til it's all done but WHO CAN WAIT??)  Anyway, those pesky little numbers just kept on tickin' until they reached an ungodly 103.  One hundred and three degrees.  That's pretty much not good.  I tried calling a consulting nurse to ask for cold/flu medication recommendations, but as soon as she asked me, "Has anyone around you been sick lately?" I knew that things were gonna get ugly.  "Wellllll... yes, actually, a close friend of mine was recently hospitalized for bacterial meningitis."  Well people, nurses don't mess around with high fevers and even POSSIBLE exposure to meningitis.  And even though I knew the chances were incredibly slim that I could have contracted it from my sweet TacomaMama, I didn't want to mess around either.  "I think you need to go get checked out," said the concerned nurse.  "Ok, so I'll find an Urgent Care," I said nonchalantly.  To which she replied, "Well, those are all closed so I need you to go to the Emergency room.  I know that sounds extreme but meningitis can take your life, so I really think it's important."  Yes Ma'am.  

9pm-ish to 12:30am-ish:  Admitted to ER.  Gowned up.  Poked.  Prodded.  Poked some more.  Prodded some more.  Draw blood here. More blood there.  IV won't connect.  Bring in the specialists.  Poke.  Bring in the bigger specialists.  Another poke.  Pee in this cup.  I need to swab your nose and throat.  More blood, please.  Poke.  Poke.  Poke.  Needle.  Needle.  Needle.  The nurse called me a pincushion for gosh sakes!  Her "nicest pincushion," I might add.  Things weren't fun.  Blood-curdling screams down the hall.  Crying baby here.  Gurneys being whisked away there.  The Emergency Room isn't fun.  After a LOT of boring and hunger-inducing waiting... the verdict is in:  EAR INFECTION.  Ear infection???  I haven't had an ear infection since I was 8 years old!  How in the &%*! did I get an ear infection?  Dunno.  But I did.  Here are some antibiotics.  Rest up!